Hold Out Hope
by Anora-the-Dreamer
Summary: It reminds me of something, how...the sound it makes...is almost that...' His eyes misted over, and he didn't need to finish the sentence. Of chains." MirSan one-shot


**Hold Out Hope  
by Rivertam  
Summary: **Sorta weird, sorta not one-shot. Songfic for Guster's "Keep It Together" MirSan Miroku and Sango have a conversation.(Erp!)

A/N- As stated in my profile, if you have even HEARD of Guster, you're my new best friend. Oh, and REVIEW OR FLAME. I LIVE FOR REVIEWS AND FLAMES! If you DO flame don't do it anonymously, I WILL reply.

The monk sat mutely, studying the hole in his hand. He touched the rosary, the only thing binding him to this earth, and clanked the beads together.

Clank.

What if they didn't get there on time? What if he was sucked up into a hole put through the fate that so many of their enemies had met?

Clank.

Why did his father have children that were destined to die? Was killing Naraku that important to him?

Clank.

So important that he would have children with the knowledge they were doomed from the moment they were born?

Clank.

Would Miroku go through with such a thing? How could he?

Clank.

_When we all had finally washed ashore  
It was clear there was no one else around  
We declared a national holiday  
A chance to build it from the ground  
So far away from everyone and everything starts today_  
A hand touched his shoulder gently, and he started violently reaching for his staff.

"It' just me," said Sango, looking down at him questioningly.

Clank.

He looked up at her, and then gestured half-heartedly for her to sit. She sat with a liquid grace, keeping her distance, her stance almost concerned. The situation had two sides. On one hand, he should have heard her coming. Being caught off guard could mean his life someday.

Clank.  
One the other, she actually came within ten feet of him without waving around that demon bone of hers. Still, his love life was one of the last of his concerns. He needed to defeat Naraku, to do that he needed...He'd had that conversation with himself so many times. What if he had no child? Left the killing of Naraku to someone else?

Clank.

There was always the faint fuzzy, almost non-existent vision of Naraku being killed in this generation. Wasn't he a bit old to hold on to such childish dreams? At the rate they were going he was going to be long dead by the time they even found Naraku, let alone made plans to kill him.

Clank.

Wasn't he being selfish? His whole era was on the verge of a war, a world-wide one at that, and all he could worry about was that damn hole in his hand. Millions could die, would anyone even notice he was gone? Sure, the ones he traveled with would figure out when they hadn't heard Sango bellowing, "Hentai!" for a few days, but beyond that?

Cla-Sango, looking irritated (with good reason) had taken hold of his wrist as to prevent the irritating sound it kept creating.

"Why are you doing that and could you please stop?" her voice wasn't angry, it was mild and sympathetic. He wondered if he had made his inner turmoil so incredibly obvious.

"It's soothing," he said lamely.

Sango gave him a look that clearly stated that he would have to do better than that after she had sat there for ten minutes.

"It reminds me of something, how...the sound it makes...is almost that..." His eyes misted over, and he didn't need to finish the sentence. Somehow, they both knew what he was going to say.

**Of chains. **

_Let's keep it together  
Can we keep it together  
We're singing a new song now and everything starts today_  
Sango would never know what compelled her to ask such a question; perhaps it was fate or mere curiosity. "Is that what you fear the most?" she asked, plucking at his rosary gently, thinking of her life, how many nightmares and scars she still had.

His eyes widened, and he sat and honestly thought for a moment. He'd seldom thought about as much as he had lately, not a topic to build morale off of. "No," he finally said, "While it does scare me, it's just always been there. I couldn't have made it this far if I was scared of something I'd always have around me."

She nodded, surprised that she did in fact understand. If Kohaku had been following her around this whole time, still under the control of Naraku, if she had to see his blank eyes around every corner...If she had to think about him every time she turned around...if she had to have that particular problem always around her...She would have most certainly gone mad with grief. Surprisingly, she was still a bit curious at what really went around in that monk's head. She cleared her throat and asked, "What do you fear the most?"

Once again, he thought, and thought hard. "I'm not sure. I suppose I fear losing one of you, Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, Kirara...or you. I know I'm probably going to die, I see it coming. One of you could die any time, the next demon we run into, the next shard we have to get, and I won't know until it happens. But the possibility is always there, a poisonous snake dangling just out of my reach." He sat, trembling from fear or shock, stunned at how much that had cost him to say. For once in his life, he had been completely honest, not hiding behind stupid things he said and did. Not hiding, out in the open. Must be something in the air. He grinned sheepishly at her; he had by no means meant to burden her with his worries. Still, it felt nice to admit that he did worry, and he felt like doing the same favor. "So, Sango, what do you fear the most?"

She just looked at him, looking thoroughly unhappy.

He sighed, and prodded her gently, "It's fair."

Damn it! She thought, anything but upset, I hate it when he's right! She too, was stunned at the effort it was taking and said in as mild a tone as she could muster, "My worst fear already came true. Having to watch and not be able to do anything while everything I cared about was torn to shreds." Her voice was barely more than a growl for the last sentence, anger consumed her, anger at herself, the killers, and the damn monk who had made her think about it.

_Can we rise  
Can we get along all right  
Can we miss the storm that sucked the whole world in  
And the boats went out at night  
And the choppers in the sky  
They searched, but they could find no trace of us  
So far away from everyone and everything starts today_  
"So, in a way, you're free from that fear?" said Miroku in a ponderous tone, half making a statement half asking a question.

At that Sango had to laugh, thinking of the nightmare she'd had not ten minutes ago, the whole reason she was here, instead of asleep warm in her bedroll, in the first place. It started out with Naraku holding a knife to Kohaku's throat, Naraku grinned wickedly at her, a look that said, "Come and get him." She moved towards him, hiraikotsu raised boldly, when he sliced his throat. Just like that.

She cried out, she was surprised Miroku, deep in his thought world, hadn't heard her. She picked up the body and cradled it, whimpering pitifully. The blood flowed all over her, through her; she was soaking, dripping with it. First it stayed as Kohaku, and then suddenly changed into Sango's older sister.

Then it was her mother.

Then her father.

Then Kagome.

Then Inuyasha.

Then Shippo.

Then Kirara.

Then Miroku.

It was then she had woken up, sweating bullets. She had seen the monk, looking solemn and intense, then though what the hell, miracles happen everyday, and had walked over here.

"No," she said bluntly, "Once you get rid of a problem another one always seems to show up."

Miroku chuckled softly, yes, he knew that quite well, and said, "So what's that new problem?"

Sango cocked her head, there was no way she would tell him what really was the problem that most occupied her thoughts, but she most certainly did worry about other things. "I guess it's a lot like you. If we keep moving this slowly, Kohaku will be long-dead in some sick plot before I get near him."

_Let's keep it together  
Can we keep it together  
We're singing a new song now and everything starts today_  
He touched her shoulder gently; Sango recoiled and looked up at him, baffled. He didn't LOOK like he'd been trying to grope her. It was then she noticed the tears sliding down his cheeks, and then noticed that the tears in his eyes were mirrored in hers. "Sorry," he said, taking his hand away from her shoulder but moving a bit closer to her. "Sorry," he repeated, as though she hadn't heard it the last time, sounding like a lost puppy. She heard something unfamiliar in his voice, and then realized it was sincerity.

"It's not your fault," she said, trying to appear nonchalant.

"True enough," was his reply, "I'm still sorry. The memories...they still haunt you, don't they?"

"How could they not?" she asked reasonably, trying to tame her suddenly uncooperative emotions.

"It's going to be okay," Miroku stated uncertainly, for his own benefit or for Sango's, who knew? Then, wasn't it him who just moments ago had resigned himself to the fate of early death and Naraku living on to hunt and kill? "I think it might be, anyway."

"I'm not sure if we can even win," Sango said emotionlessly, "Hell, I'm not even sure if we can find the bastard to do battle."

"Me too," said Miroku, "This still isn't anytime for us of all people to just stop fighting, or, actually, looking for the person we need to fight."  
_The thunder struck the clouds appear  
Our fearless crew was not prepared  
And pretty soon the boats came for us half a million strong  
We gathered arms and fire shells  
We built a wall around ourselves  
And pretty soon the spirit was a lot like it what it used to be back home_  
"I guess not," she said, "Still, no one around here is making it any easier."

Thinking of the fight Inuyasha and Kagome had had earlier that day, he grinned bittersweetly. (A/N- I know, but hey! I just made up a coherent word!) "Yeah," he said cheerfully, "It's not like the world is going to stop spinning if we don't kill Naraku!"

Sango giggled and cuffed him playfully on the shoulder. "I should have known having a conversation with you was a waste of time."

"Was it really?" he asked, and raised his eyebrows in an oddly familiar way.

"Don't get used to this, houshi-sama," she said, just laughing and for once not knocking him into next millennium. "Oh," she said evilly, "How's the search for some poor sap of a woman to bare your children going?"

"It ended a long time ago," he said in a monotone. Sango looked up at him in shock to see if he was serious, but he had already gotten up and moved towards his bedroll.  
So far away from everyone and everything starts today  
_Let's keep it together  
Can we keep it together  
We're singing a new song now and everything starts today  
Let's keep it together  
Can we keep it together  
We're singing a new song now and everything starts today_

A/N- I just reread that, it was really weird. Ah, well, I hope you people like it.


End file.
